5 Ways To Know You Are A Soul Feminist
Chances Are You Were Born One
I have a little sister, and she is the spunkiest 5 year old that I have ever met. From her independence to the way she imaginatively builds her own worlds while playing with her My Little Pony dolls, she is so powerful. At one point I didn’t feel worthy of being her big sister because I didn’t know how could I go on encouraging her to be a magical ass black woman once she sees how ugly the world can be. I am constantly praying that she keeps her innocence, but we all have point where we forget how full of magic we can be. She is the main reason I call myself a Soul Feminist, because I know we are connected on some crazy cosmic planetary level, and everything that I do affects her in some way. She is legit my soul sister. And if not for her, I had to find some peace of mind for myself.
Becoming a Soul Feminist didn’t happen over night. There are three years of my life where I didn’t know who I was, what I wanted, or the power I possessed to change my reality. Being good to myself meant I was healing generations of pain that had been collected by my mother, my grandmother, and all of the beautiful women that came before me. And if I really wanted to have purpose, I had to figure out what was worth healing, so I could create a better now for myself, my sister, and all magical black women.
If you are reading this and you believe in solidarity and freedom for all women, then you are a feminist (even if you don’t identify with the term). Being a Soul Feminist means that you choose to stand in solidarity with yourself because it will help you build a better community around you.
Keep reading to find out 5 ways you can stand in solidarity with yourself and be a Soul Feminist.
- You live your life with intention. Everybody has their own unique purpose in life, and finding yours allows you to tap into your own magic. Living with intention means you have goals and a mindset to achieve something great. Most times we don’t know what our next move will yield us, but moving with intention allows you to trust that those next 200 feet are leading you exactly where you need to be. The most important part of the journey is knowing the WHAT and WHY you do what you do- that is INTENTION. Once that is realized, then you can move forward creating a better world for yourself. You then create a cycle that inspires more and more women in your community to move forward with a dream and a purpose.
- You know that something must change. Ah! Change. You know I thought I liked change, until I was forced to actually do it. It is actually quite easy to get comfortable in our circumstances, but when was the last time you took an inventory of your life? Chances are you aren’t thriving in EVERY area, and you definitely should! Once you have made the decision to change your life, then everything in the universe will work to bring you your desired change. It can be daunting. There will be challenges. There will be buckets of tears and (at least) 10 smile lines on each side of your face. You will question everything and everybody, even yourself. BUT you will feel so much better you chose to grow and not stay stagnant. Like flowers, we were once seeds that decided to grow and we must not stop that process. As you grow and expand, things get better. Especially if you believe you are deserving of the very best. Change is really important because we are all mirrors of each other. And like Issac Newton once discovered, for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction, so if your homegirl is tapping into her Black Girl Magic, why can’t you?
- You know that you must heal. Letting go is probably one of the hardest things that you could ever do, because it is easy to believe that what happened to us in the past defines what we are and what we can become. Let me tell you, I played victim for a very long time. I believed that I was gonna be stuck in the same cycle, dealing with the same relationships, jobs, and unhappiness foeva, but the universe will always show you the way out if you let it! My BFF (because homegirls are so important), told me to let it go. Yeah it hurt, yeah is was messed up, but it doesn’t define me. I mean, it is WAY easier said that done, but it is possible. Don’t be a bag lady. In order to allow change to fully take form in your life, you have to get rid of all the old stuff that has been holding you down. Unfortunately, sometimes we are holding ourselves back, so get out of your own way and let that shit go!
- You understand the power of your Star Player. You are so important! Seriously, no one can offer what you can to the world. We live in a world full of duplicates- originality is nonexistent. Everybody is the same. When I was younger I was really into being Lyneisha, like it was the coolest thing ever. I was everything that I see in my little sister- I had spunk, attitude, and imagination. But somewhere along the line, I agreed with someone else's definition of what a young black girl should be and just rolled with it. I lost myself trying to fit into someone else's definition of my life. Yet, here I am finding myself (because the journey to self never ends). I realized that I was lit, and no one can take that away from me. There may be some other Lyneisha’s in the world (I’ll Facebook search them later), but there definitely isn’t a Lyneisha who is super southern (like someone help!), loves Golden Graham cereal, still watches episodes of SpongeBob, and has full-blown concerts in her bathroom. No other Lyneisha will appreciate a fresh copy of Essence Magazine and laughing at episodes of Black-ish like I will. And even if there is another Lyneisha like me, she will never be me because my quirks and perfections are too unique to the person I was, I am, and aim to become. Believe it or not, you are just like me- unique, special, and worthy of being loved! If it helps, make a list of everything that makes you YOU, and revel at the beauty that comes with loving yourself. Once you love yourself, the world will change to match the positivity that you are exuding (:
You know that you are the missing puzzle piece. The world does revolve around you. Don’t allow anyone to tell you that it doesn’t. We are taught that our part in the world just affects us and the people that we are close to, but it affects everyone. Everything is connected. Though we each see the world from our own point of view, living your life with intention can have a positive or negative effect on someone else'a life. Your thoughts affect your words and your actions. Everything you do matters. That doesn’t mean that everything you do will ever be perfect. It won’t. But if you live with purpose, you will change your world. And maybe all it takes is you because you are that important. After I graduated from FAMU, I found my way back in the country sleeping on the couch at my grandparents house. I had a job and a lost it. I applied for billions (OMG!) of jobs and got maybe 3 or 4 interviews and nothing stuck. I was sad and depressed and sleeping on a hot leather couch. I knew I wanted better so I accepted where I was and changed my mind about life. Things are so much better now, and I am serving my community in the best way I know how. I am doing what I love, being a Libra, sitting here typing about the magic of healing and how we can influence Black women everywhere, who will influence women everywhere to be their best selves!
Your journey to being a Soul Feminist may not look like mines, because we all have our own unique paths that we must take, but every step has purpose. Once you tap into that you will be so much happier and filled with so much love. I promise. It is definitely a journey, and you will really be over it all (at least) 100 times, but living from your soul is one of the most magical things anyone can do!
If I didn't define myself for myself, I would be crunched into other people's fantasies for me and eaten alive. - Audre Lorde
Revolutionize yourself and watch how it influences a movement of women to better themselves and their community!
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