Discovering Your Power Language And 3 Ways To Use It


People can tell a lot about you from the words that you speak, but what can you find out about yourself?

Not too long ago, I decided to be nicer to myself.

I always had something negative to say about myself, whether things were going right or wrong.  This negative self-talk had led me into many dark places where I found myself wondering why I was constantly being pulled back into the same negative cycle. 

When I was around 10, I said something that you wouldn't expect to hear a 10 years old say: suicide.  It was a word I was unfamiliar with, yet it still found its way into my personal dictionary.  It manifested itself in nasty ways years later as I began to deal with my own anxiety and depression.

I didn't understand the language that I was using and the things that I was speaking into my life until I was about 22.  I realized that my words had the power to materialize themselves as serious bouts of depression that always lead to thoughts of suicide. 

Growing up in a Christian household, my grandmother always preached that I should watch what I say, but I was young and hardheaded. Eventually, I realized that I had the power to change the definitions I believed about myself and my world. Shout out to wise women in our lives because my grandmother’s words really made an impact when I was mature enough to accept them.

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Once I stopped calling myself ugly, stupid, fat, poor, and unworthy, my world began to change. I adopted words like love, abundance, beautiful, successful, and fulfilled into my vocabulary, and I began to experience those exact things.

The thing about words and language is that they are very intricate.  We may use words in their simplest form or we may find the most difficult ways to explain something. 

  Doesn't she look wise and beautiful? My grandma <3

Doesn't she look wise and beautiful? My grandma <3

We lose the power of our language when we take on words that don't offer us anything positive. Life is about giving and taking—what you put out will always be given back to you. My Power Language wasn’t powerful at all—it was negative and it was the reason I was always cycling through the same karma.

I got rid of all the negative definitions I accepted from the world and decided to live unapologetically.  I put the MAGIC and POWER back into my Power Language when I decided I was over the cloud of self-doubt and sadness that was always looming over me. I took back all the negative words and created a language that was full of affirmative and assertive words that have helped me live my best life.

Through our language, we agree to what has been laid out before us and we squeeze ourselves into the reality of that word, forgetting the authenticity of our Power Language-- the language that affirms us into a loving space of acceptance. 

To find your power, you must go back to your original language and use your authentic voice.


1. Become conscious of your self-talk. 

Everything begins and ends with you. If you want to be powerful, happy, and successful, then you must affirm these things into yourself first. Instead of telling yourself how bad your current financial situation is, look at the many miracles happening around you every day and remind yourself how great your life is despite the minor setbacks! I mean you are experiencing the miracle of life and breath every day, which means that you get another chance to be awesome so you should remind yourself!

How I Do It: I have a list of 10-15 affirmations that I read daily! If I am feeling up to it, I write 1 page of affirmations every morning. According to Mind Magic: Techniques for Transforming Your Life Marta Hiatt, writing down your affirmations is a great way to reprogram your mind.

2. Say no.

If you want to feel happy and powerful, then you must learn the most powerful word ever: NO! There are times when we will end up where we don't want to be doing things we don't want to be doing because we refused to be assertive and say no.  Saying no makes room for you to get what you want by declining offers that don't fit your vibe.  Being a Magical Black Girl is about being unapologetic. So unapologetically say no, tap into your power, and get what you want!

How I Do It: I try and think about the pros and cons of the situation. If I am crossing my own healthy boundaries, then I automatically say no. My happiness is way more important.

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3. Change your definitions. 

You don't have to be a walking Webster's Dictionary, you just have to be yourself and be confident in your beliefs. Our Power Language is based on our thoughts, which means you have the power to change your definitions by changing your thoughts. Once you are tapped into your creative power, you will begin to see how much power your words have. It all goes back to the mind and realizing that your true power comes from the thoughts you think and the words you say.  

How I Do It: I am always editing my life story: For example, I want to lose some weight. Instead of complaining about how "fat" I am, I decided to change my definition of beautiful. I want to uplift myself while I embark on a new journey, so I changed my mind to better suit how I want to see myself.

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You must become conscious of your Power Language because it can truly shape your reality.

As Soul Feminist (aka Magical Ass Black Women), we have the power to make miracles happen in our lives.  While everyone else continues to focus on what they don't want, we must summon everything we do want into your reality.