How You Can Make Imposter Syndrome Your Bestie
We all have that one friend who always has an opinion about what is going on in our lives and how we are handling it.
Life will be going well then that friend, with their unsolicited opinions, will show up and remind you of everything that has happened and how you barely got through it.
For me, that friend is my inner-imposter. She always shows up when I am ready to embark on a new adventure. My newest adventure just so happens to be teaching my course, Discovering Worthiness, to a mentoring group. My inner-imposter has no guilt about reminding me that I’m not who I say or desire to be.
Your inner-imposter says things like:
• Are you qualified to be teaching a class on worthiness?
• You’re not a real teacher!
• You shouldn’t do this because you are going to embarrass yourself!
• Nobody wants to listen to your country behind whisper about "feeling worthy"!
This is a classic case of Imposter Syndrome. Imposter Syndrome has three primary functions:
• To make you believe you haven’t accomplished anything
• To make you fear that everyone will “find out” you are a “fake”
• To make you think that you aren’t smart enough, capable enough, or hard-working enough
Have you ever felt that way?
For some of us, we experience this battle every day. That annoying voice in our head creeps in to remind us of the naysayers and the failures from the past. Not only are we sabotaged by our past, but our insecurities are amplified. Everything that we don’t like about ourselves becomes bigger and bolder, making us feel inadequate and unprepared for the new experiences life is offering us.
Related Article: Why You Should Be Embracing Your Shadow Side In 2018.
When you feel like an imposter, you are being filled with fear. And fear has a way of controlling and keeping us from living our lives to the fullest.
Imposter syndrome is directly related to our worth.
When we feel insecure, what we have done will not be good enough to get us through any new experiences.
And like any annoying friend, you have to learn to let them go or accept them. By accepting your inner-imposter, you learn to accept yourself. You accept the naysayers and the failures of the past and you begin to understand your insecurities.
Instead of fearing when my inner-imposter showed up, I began to love her. I determined that she was just giving her opinion, and though I didn’t need it, listening to her moan about what hasn’t worked motivated me to keep moving forward. Your inner-imposter is the part of yourself that is full of fear, so listen to your fears and reassure them that YOU GOT THIS!
I’m going to tell you how to make your inner-imposter motivate you like a good friend should.
HERE ARE 3 WAYS YOU CAN MAKE IMPOSTER SYNDROME YOUR BESTIE:
1. Remember Your Wins
Don’t forget about all the times you defeated life. You are an overcomer, and you shouldn’t forget that. When your inner-imposter shows up and starts talking about how life has sucked, you tell her about all the times that life was awesome. Through this practice, you will realize how much of a bad-ass you are and how worthy you are of new experiences.
How I Do It: I learned this from my self-help favorite book, The Magic by Rhonda Byrne (I suggest it if you want to learn more about gratitude). I keep a daily gratitude journal. Every morning, I write 10 things I am grateful for and why I am grateful for them. Not only does my daily gratitude practice remind you of your wins, it helps you get into the flow of receiving more good stuff!
2. Pick Up Your Phone
Listen to your inner-imposter. You don’t have to agree with anything she says, but it’s better to be accepting of her truths than to resist them. The more you resist something, the more it will show up. Take the time to hear what your inner-imposter is saying because she may have a perspective that inspires you to look at things from a different angle.
How I Do It: To be 100% honest, I literally talk to myself. I use the recording app on my phone and I just lay it all out on the line: the good and the bad. Afterward, I listen to the recording and take the parts that resonate and leave the parts that don’t.
3. Stop Telling Certain People Your Business
Sometimes our inner-imposter is triggered by the people in our lives. Your excitement about the changes happening in your life may be met with disdain, jealousy, or misinterpretation. Instead of expecting everyone else to understand your joy, find that one person (your bestie IRL) and tell them your exciting news.
How I Do It: My IRL bestie is #1 on my emergency contact list. I tell her everything, from the good to the bad, and she is always open to listening. Why do I tell her everything? Because she won’t judge me and she always has an encouraging word! I know that she will always put me in my place and stand behind me while I get it together!
Imposter Syndrome can be annoying. Instead of letting your inner-imposter and her fear stop you, give her a little attention and remember that you always have the final say!