5 Ways You Can Trust Your Reflection (And Be More Confident)


When you look in the mirror, who do you see? Do you see a woman who is confident in everything or do you see a woman who is battling the crossroads in her life?

On one of my worst days, I decided to cry in front of the mirror. I just stood there and cried about everything that had been bothering me since 2018 began.

No, it wasn’t my proudest moment. But after 5 minutes I gained so much clarity about the lack of confidence I had and how it contributed to the crossroads I found myself at.

The keys to harnessing your Black Girl Magic are self-trust and self-worth (aka confidence). And if you lack confidence, it will definitely show up in your reflection.

Related Post: How To Harness Your Black Girl Magic

In fact, standing in front of the mirror will help you realize key things about confidence like…

• Self-love isn’t a beauty standard

• Lack of self-trust will lead to a negative self-image

• What happens in your inner-world will always be reflected in your reality

• Self-representation matters when those who look like you and relate to your story aren’t visible

Your reflection has an important impact on your self-esteem and connecting you with your core values. Simply put: I think our mirrors - no matter if we use them for beating our faces or getting in a good cry- have a lot to teach us.

I also think that if you are motivated to harness your Black Girl Magic, then you are in an incredibly powerful position to change the way the world experiences representation.

With all that said, let me be honest: it’s really hard to love yourself and feel worthy when you look in the mirror because society continues to promote the narrative of the “perfect woman”. All our lives we have been fed the message that only this kind of woman with this kind of hair and this kind of body is acceptable in our society. There is no perfect remedy to self-love, but you have to be careful with your validation.

It isn’t a beauty standard

So often we get caught up thinking that our self-care routine is something that happens on the outside but it is something that blossoms within us.

We are always looking in the mirror for vanity purposes to satisfy our egos, but how are we building deeper connections with ourselves?

Self-love is about having the guts to validate yourself.

You have to trust yourself and trust that what is being reflected back to you is worthy of love, healing, and happiness.

Also, you must realize that what isn’t being reflected is way more important than what you can currently see. We have to learn how to use discernment with ourselves to cultivate a real sense of honesty. If you can’t be honest with yourself, then how will you survive.  Too often we overlook the “petty”, “taboo”, “annoying”, and “negative” parts of ourselves because we fear that no one will validate them. Stop giving your power away to people. Begin to validate who you are and the space that you occupy by redefining what worth means to you.

First, why is important to validate yourself? Here is what self-validation can do for you…

• You stop looking for likes, retweets, and comments to affirm your importance

• You begin to cultivate more self-confidence that changes the way you see yourself

• You become unapologetic in everything that you do

• You become open to more opportunities and experience the life that you desire

Yes! ALLADAT! It’s kinda like saying “I CAME TO SLAY”!

For those reasons, I truly believe that trusting what you see in the mirror- sans the makeup and the clothes- will help you have a deeper connection with yourself. Let’s keep it real: it isn’t easy. But you are so worthy of feeling as beautiful as you look. And to truly experience those good feelings you need to connect with yourself and heal those insecurities.

Related Post: How 5 Minutes In The Mirror Helped Me Discover My Worthiness

Let’s really talk about how you can trust your mirror. And specifically, how to cultivate a higher self-esteem (from within) so that you get all the benefits of harnessing your Black Girl Magic.

So, let’s travel, step-by-step, through how to trust your mirror and validate yourself as a way to grow your self-esteem.


1. Get clear about how you connect with yourself.

You have to begin building self-trust with yourself through honesty practices. A perfect way to cultivate a clearer connection with yourself is through journaling. Get a self-care journal where you can be incredibly honest with yourself whenever you are feeling disconnected.

How I Do It: One way I like to use my self-care journal is by writing letters to God/My Higher-Self. When harnessing your Black Girl Magic, you want to maintain a connection with God because that is where all your Whitney Houston-Fairy Godmother-Mystical power comes from.

2. Stop looking to Instagram for inspiration.

Sis put your phone down! You won’t feel worthy if you are always validating someone else or waiting for them to validate you. Instead of sitting on Instagram for hours, go and do something you love! You are worthy of fun, so you should be having it.

How I Do It:  I absolutely love reading. If I am in need of a social media detox, I like to find a cozy corner and read my current favorite book.

Featured Product: Blooming: 31 Days of Soul Meditations

3. Don’t ignore what’s wrong- be honest with yourself.

Be 100% honest about what you are feeling! It’s called validation. And once you have validated your feelings, go deeper to understand WHY you are feeling that way. This pains me to say: most of the problems in your life are caused by you, so you have to be the one to get clear about what you didn’t do right and apply more pressure moving forward.

How I Do It:  If I still feel blocked after an honesty session, I call a close friend and ask for guidance because they ALWAYS know what to say to get me moving forward.

4. OM your way to healing.

Meditation is key. You don’t have to be Buddha or anything, you just have to be dedicated to your own healing.  Through meditation, you will quiet your mind and begin to hear the answers that you have been seeking.

How I Do It: I like to allow myself the luxury of 3-5 (or more) minutes of quiet every morning after I set my daily intentions.

5. Devote yourself to creating a daily self-love ritual.

Sing it with me, “Through devotion, blessed are the children”! If you are serious about building more confidence, then you will become more committed to practicing self-love and care on a daily basis. You need to create a routine that is specific to your needs. If you implement the practices in this blog post, you will know exactly what your specific needs are.

How I Do It:  Every morning before I get out of bed, I devote 5 minutes to reading my book “Blooming: 31 Days of Soul Meditations”. The messages are always incredibly accurate and help me start the day with confidence.

Bonus Tip: Use the code BLOOM20 to receive 20% off your purchase of “Blooming: 31 Days of Soul Meditations”.

None of the things I talked about take place in front of the mirror. But when you get in front of your mirror, you will feel so much better about yourself.

Remember: you are your #1 representative.

Don’t look to the outside world to validate what you should be feeling on the inside by understanding your own beauty before you step foot in front of the mirror.

The mirror will become secondary to the beauty, confidence, and healing that already lives inside of you!

How do you make sure your reflection shows your true beauty? Let's chat in the comment section down below! (I respond to every comment!)