5 Reasons Your Affirmations Aren't Working (Plus 3 Tips To Help You Become The Affirmation Queen)

Staring deep into your own eyes, you look into the mirror and you say, “I love you”.

This isn’t the first time you have made a declaration of love to yourself. But every time you walk away from your reflection you feel worse and worse.

You reject yourself and what you hope was a heartfelt start to your day because the reasons (which are irrational) why you shouldn’t believe what you are saying begin to run through your mind:

"they didn’t stay with you so clearly you are unloveable look at that acne sitting on your forehead do you really think that someone wants to look at that ugh you did horrible in that interview your mom didn’t even show me love how can I love myself they told me I was fat when I was younger look at me, omg no one ever asks me to hang out am I that boring what is love can i really love myself I have no job no money no lover and life just seems to suck does the universe even care life is stupid what am I gonna do you will never love yourself you will just be lonely and unloved forever."

Your attempt at changing your life with affirmations seems like another failure. You don’t believe you will ever feel the happiness that you seek. You don’t believe something that should be so natural.

Often, we find ourselves motivated try the “Self-Love Thing”. All the gurus tell us that to live our best life, we should affirm our love. So we try and we say things like, "I love myself", "I am beautiful", and "I am worthy". We begin to feel good and believe that we have a chance at self-love. Then all the irrational reasons why not invade our minds, and we lose out on self-validation and love.


A part of revolutionizing your self-love is being honest with yourself, and I am here, to be honest with you.

Self-love is something that you must work at. When you decide to put in the necessary work, there will be so much more you are willing to give yourself.


Before you go any further and write any more affirmations, here are the 5 reasons your affirmations aren’t working for you.

1. You don’t love yourself. Sorry, but it is true and it is okay. We aren’t taught to love and value ourselves. If you are telling yourself how beautiful you are and how amazing your career is then you must believe them. The problem is that you don’t believe them because you don’t feel worthy. Before you start any self-loving you need to check your definition of worth. If you don’t see yourself as worthy, then the whole idea of loving yourself will always be met with resistance.

2. Someone told you weren’t worthy. Unfortunately, we care about what other people say so much. Outside validation is valued too much in our society, so much so, that people don’t even trust themselves to make clear decisions. If you are going to revolutionize your self-love, then you cannot value others opinion OF YOUR LIFE AND LOVE over your own. Chances are that same person reminding you of your shortcomings doesn’t like themselves.

3. You didn’t watch Roger & Hammerstein’s Cinderella. You should know by now that I love the movie Cinderella. It is full of so many valuable nuggets of inspiration. One is that anything is possible. Don’t let WHAT-IS happening currently in your life stop you from believing. This means you can’t give up on your affirmations. If you keep affirming these things in your life, they will come into manifestation. BUT YOU HAVE TO BELIEVE. You have to step outside of THIS reality and live in your fantasy world. Everything you see in your head has the ability to manifest. Whatever life you want to tap into, hold onto it and believe with all your heart that it is going to come true.dw

4. You didn’t read Dr. Seuss when you were a child. Because you must use every ounce of imagination that you have. You are going to have days when your affirmations seem so foolish. Those are the days when you are going to have to say them the loudest. If you keep working even on your bad days, then your rewards will be magnificent. Pick up "Oh, The Places You'll Go" by Dr. Suess, it will fuel your affirmations with belief and understanding.

5. You haven’t spent at least $20 on $1 notebooks. When you make the decision to love yourself, you are gonna start writing everything down. You are gonna have many notebooks: one for affirmations, one for gratitude, one for manifestations. The possibilities are endless. Writing down your affirmations is an essential way of affirming yourself.


3 Tips To Help You Become The #AffirmationQueen


3 Tips to Help You Become The #Affirmation Queen

1. Make your affirmations believable. Don’t try and affirm that you are going to win the lottery when you don’t believe it. Chances are you've never seen that much money in your life so it seems impossible to you. Start with affirmations that seem attainable and easy to manifest. Affirm that you got that interview or new clients for your business. You have to test your own belief in order for the universe to make magic happen in your life.

2. Write a page of affirmation a day. I got this tip from the Mind Magic: Tips for Transforming Your Life by Marta Hiatt, Ph.D. In this book, Marta says, ”Writing down affirmations is an extremely technique for reaching deeply into your subconscious, and is the fastest way to incorporate these ideas into your consciousness”. You can make it a part of your morning routine to affirm yourself before you start your day. You never know how the universe will lead you to your manifestation.

3. Read your success story every night before bed. Sleep is a magical time to manifest your dreams, and what you consume before bed is important. This is a great way to reprogram your mind with new beliefs. Those beliefs will trickle into your conscious mind over time and you will begin to see the change in your life.

Those are the 5 reasons your affirmations aren’t working and 3 tips to help you make them work.

Don’t let affirmations stop you from revolutionizing your self-love. Affirmations are fun. Remember that loving yourself is work. Sometimes you have to change your formula before you get the results you are hoping for.

Keep believing in your affirmations and watch your world transform.